Recognizing Dysfunctional Coping Behaviours

COPING STRATEGIES – HELPFUL or DYSFUNCTIONAL?

The long list of symptoms of PTSD can be found under the tab “PTSD/from Trauma to PTSD”, and the even longer list of symptoms for C-PTSD or Developmental Trauma Disorder can be found under the tab “Childhood Trauma/Consequences”.

This discussion looks at the ways that we COPE with these symptoms. ‘Coping’ research identifies two main types of coping with extreme events, and this research tends to focus on the coping strategies during and immediately after the event. I will consider these strategies first, and then focus on the three coping strategies that develop in response to ongoing and long-term post-traumatic and attachment damage.

 

COPING DURING AND IN THE MONTHS FOLLOWING THE EVENT

Coping refers to an individual’s efforts to regulate stressful situations. The two coping strategies relevant to most stressful situations are :

  1. TASK ORIENTED or PROBLEM FOCUSSED COPING :

With the intention of acting on the stressor, efforts are directed at altering the external environment or one’s relationship with it –

Cognitive problem solving, such as –

Identifying and analyzing the problem before reacting

Deciding if the situation is changeable

Thinking how previous similar situations were solved

Come up with several different solutions to the problem

Making a plan of action

Resolving conflict

Behavioural problem solving such as –

Seeking social support

Seeking information

 

  1. EMOTION FOCUSSED COPING :

Efforts are directed at attempting to alter one’s own emotional state rather than solving the stressful problem. (If situation is assessed as unchangeable, some emotion-focussed coping strategies are appropriate, such as relaxation techniques)

Functional :

Mentally processing the event

Taking time out for reflection

Relaxation and breathing techniques

Dysfunctional :

Going into denial

Distancing and/or detachment

Wishful thinking

Focus on aches and pains

Blame or worry

Taking refuge in religion

 

A third coping strategy can be mentioned here that can follow stressful events, though it becomes more significant with the development of PTSD : 

  1. AVOIDANCE COPING :

Efforts are directed at avoiding the situation or memories & the emotions associated with it. Poor solution to changeable situations, but sometimes appropriate for short-term uncontrollable situations.

Examples : over-eating, seeking out company, watching TV, etc.

 

DYSFUNCTIONAL COPING STRATEGIES

AS PART OF ONGOING PTSD / DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA DISORDER

 

First, in no particular order . . .

DISSOCIATION
EMOTION-FOCUSSED COPING
EMOTIONAL NUMBING
ACTING OUT
REPRESSION
SELF-BLAME
CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR
AVOIDANCE OF REMINDERS OF TRAUMA
ISOLATION
MINIMIZING
SILENCE – NOT SPEAKING ABOUT EXPERIENCE
SELF-HARM
DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR
SUBSTANCE ABUSE

 

. .  and ordered into three categories of avoidance . . .

1. WITHDRAWAL, RETREAT, ISOLATION – PASSIVE AND SELF-PROTECTIVE

DISSOCIATION

EMOTIONAL NUMBING

REPRESSION

AVOIDANCE OF REMINDERS OF TRAUMA

ISOLATION

SILENCE – NOT SPEAKING ABOUT EXPERIENCE

MINIMIZING

2. ACTIVE, AGGRESSIVE AVOIDANT BEHAVIOUR – ACTION DIRECTED AT SELF

SELF-BLAME

SELF-HARM

SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR

SUBSTANCE ABUSE

3. ACTIVE, AGGRESSIVE AVOIDANT BEHAVIOUR – ACTION DIRECTED OUTWARD AT OTHERS

ACTING OUT

CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR

NARCISSISTIC BEHAVIOUR

 

DYSFUNCTIONAL COPING MECHANISMS – RELATED TO ATTACHMENT DAMAGE

 

Another way of wording the three categories above, put forward by Karen Horney in the 1940s, uses the terms: ‘moving towards’, ‘moving away from’ and ‘moving against’. All three are seen as dysfunctional options, defense strategies that help us to avoid the real pain of not having our attachment needs met.

The following information is taken from Wikipedia/Karen Horney:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karen_Horney

Karen Horney describes the functional interpersonal coping strategy as ‘moving with’. “It involves compromise. In order to move with, there must be communication, agreement, disagreement, compromise, and decisions.”

 

MOVING TOWARDS, self-effacing, compliant: “the individual moves towards those perceived as a threat to avoid retribution and getting hurt, “making any sacrifice, no matter how detrimental.” The argument is, “If I give in, I won’t get hurt.” This means that: if I give everyone I see as a potential threat whatever they want, I won’t be injured (physically or emotionally).”

Expressions of this need:

Need for affection and approval from others (without giving it to self),
Need to please others and be liked (without giving it to self first)
Need for a partner who will look after all one’s emotional needs.

 

MOVING AWAY FROM, resigning solution, withdrawal: “individuals distance themselves from anyone perceived as a threat to avoid getting hurt – the ‘mouse-hole’ attitude … the security of unobtrusiveness. The argument is, “If I do not let anyone close to me, I won’t get hurt.” [such an individual], according to Horney, desires to be distant because of being abused. If they can be the extreme introvert, no one will ever develop a relationship with them. If there is no one around, nobody can hurt them. These “moving away” people fight personality, so they often come across as cold or shallow. This is their strategy. They emotionally remove themselves from society.”

Expressions of this need:

Restriction of one’s life to narrow borders,
Undemanding, satisfied with little, inconspicuous.

 

MOVING AGAINST, the expansive solution, aggressive: the individual threatens those perceived as a threat to avoid getting hurt. Children might react to parental in-differences by displaying anger or hostility.

Expressions of this need:

Seeking power, for control over others, desire for strength, omnipotence or dominance.
Exploitation of others or to get the better of them.
Social recognition or prestige, over-concern for appearances and popularity.
Self-sufficiency and independence.
Perfection and unassailability, desire to be perfect, fear of being flawed.

 

Helpful Coping Strategies (P. Levin)

1. Task-oriented/problem solving

  • mobilize a support system, reach out and connect with others, especially those who may have shared the stressful event
  • talk about the traumatic experience with empathic listeners
  • maintain balanced diet and sleep cycle as much as possible
  • commitment to something personally meaningful and important every day
  • proactive responses toward personal and community safety. Organize or do something socially active
  • write about your experience in detail, just for yourself or to share with others
  1. Emotion-focussed / functional
  • cry [with supportive other]
  • hard exercise like jogging, aerobics, bicycling, walking
  • relaxation exercise like yoga, stretching, massage
  • humor
  • prayer and/or meditation; listening to relaxing guided imagery; progressive deep muscle relaxation
  • hot baths
  • music and art
  • avoid over-using stimulants like caffeine, sugar, or nicotine
  • hug those you love, pets included
  • eat warm turkey, boiled onions, baked potatoes, cream-based soups. These are tryptophane activators, which help you feel tired but good (like after Thanksgiving dinner)

Based on : © 1989, 2001, 2003, 2004 by Dr. Patti Levin

 

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